Cultivating Big Vagina Energy
So multitudinous are the vagina’s luxury features, one could be forgiven for forgetting a few. Sex ed was a lot of info at once! Listen, I was obsessed with my new and extra perky boobs and I couldn’t learn everything! Risk-averse as I am, I memorized all the tragic fates that might befall my as-yet-untouched (except a lot by me) qt pie, and all the cool stuff went in one ear and out the other.
So it was with wide-eyed wonder that I recently re-learned about the vagina’s expansive powers. Literally. In case ye too forgot: when sexually aroused, the vagina becomes longer and wider, to better receive whatever might be incoming. The change is only a matter of an inch or two, but still! This vaginal ability has become my current obsession. I’m calling it Big Vagina Energy, or BVE, and it’s what I’m here for.
The vagina is an elastic, muscular canal that extends from the vulva to the cervix. The opening is technically called a “vulvular vestibule” like an entryway, like a mudroom, like a foyer. This tunnel of love is collapsed when you’re not turned on, with the front and back walls resting against each other. As you become aroused, your uterus lifts up, your vaginal walls grow longer and wider, and your cervix retracts, which some call the “tenting” effect. I call it the welcoming committee. I call it freshman orientation. I call it generosity of spirit. I call it shelter from the storm. Oh, do come in…
But we don’t really need another interpretation of vaginal-bodied humans as accommodating vessels, so I propose a different reading. BVE is growth energy utterly distinct from dicks. It’s growth that serves to include, to make warm, to contain complexity, to connect across the void, to create (life, joy, change, art), to understand, and to be understood. You don’t grow just to grow, you grow to hold.
Big Vagina Energy is a million things and this is not a comprehensive list. BVE could be nurturing a plant, a pet, or a person. BVE could be a juicy self-love session. It could be ping-pong-ballin’ around your BFF’s apartment using her beauty products as you wish. It’s Beyonce’s “Grown Woman.” BVE is how Oprah became Oprah. BVE is Stevie Nicks continuing to perform with Lindsey Buckingham long after their break up. BVE is the barista from the other day who genuinely forgave me for being very clueless about how the ordering line worked. It isn’t reserved for people with vaginas. But it also isn’t just the femme version of Big Dick Energy. Not everything has an exact opposite. Having grown up in a patriarchy, I know very well how to recognize power in terms of dicks/society’s definition of masculinity: stoicism, courage, volume, and endurance. This year, I want to notice power in different terms, moving along other channels, from less obvious sources.
This year, remember how big you are. Turn up your energetic volume and drown out the messaging from ads and the racistsexistheteronormativepatriarchy, and honestly, some of our moms. Fight whichever forms of internalized oppression haunt you. We don’t all experience misogyny the same way. But misogyny in all of its forms wants the same thing: to make us feel small and scared. You are much too complicated to be summed up like that. Stand tall, shoulders back, eyes wide, emotional AF, big vagina: ready?
Yours in Big Vagina Energy 💙